August 31, 2024
Parents are stressed out. Don’t take it from me. Take it from this guy. The United States surgeon general who just issued a Surgeon General’s warning that moms and dads are facing dangerous levels of stress and warning that because of that — parenting can be harmful to your health….especially your mental health.
Now – before I get into all the details of this 36 page Surgeon General’s warning– I want to make it very clear….Dr. Vivek Murthy is obviously not suggesting you should not be a parent, that’s not what he’s saying. This warning is meant to shine a light on what more than 63 million American parents with kids under 18 have been saying for years. They’re dealing with heighten stressors like economic instability, time demands, concerns over their kids’ health and safety, parental isolation, loneliness and difficulty managing technology and social media as well as cultural pressures. And the surgeon general says in totality those stressors can impact a parent’s mental health and wellbeing.
The numbers he cites that validate those stressors are staggering – one in four parents say there have been times in the last year when they didn’t have money for basics like for food or shelter, part of the problem is child care costs which have increased 26% in the last decade. Moms are working 28% more hours than they were 40 years ago and dads are working 4% which can lead to conflict in the home, guilt and burnout. Nearly 3 out of 4 parents are extremely or somewhat worried that their child will struggle with anxiety or depression, school shootings or the possibility of one are a significant source of stress for nearly three quarters of parents, 70% of parents say parenting now is more difficult than it was 20 year ago specifically because of their child’s use of technology and social media.
And – here’s the thing – the surgeon general says parents and guardians in particular are lonelier than average American. According to the report 55% of Americans who are not parents experience loneliness. In comparison, 65% of parents and guardians experience loneliness but it’s even worse for single parents. 77% of them report they experience loneliness. The report lays out how these stressors impact the mental health of moms specifically and dads specifically and says when the parents are stressed it greatly impacts the negative effects on their kids.
So what now? The surgeon general is saying we all need realize that raising kids is critically important to our society as a whole and there needs to be a shift in how the US government and frankly our culture looks at and values parenting. He has a compressive list of suggestions. He recommends lots of things but says congress needs to establish a national paid family leave program, should expand programs that support parents and caregivers like head start and ensure parents have access to comprehensive affordable high quality mental health care. He says employers need to implement programs that help parents manage stress and implement “work-life” harmony. He says communities should create opportunities for parents to socially connect so they don’t feel so alone, and says friends and family of parents should reach out every once in a while to giving them a break or helping them run an errand.
Read the Surgeon General’s warning here.
